I am currently writing a fanfic, known as RiFts. RiFts is a epic crossover fanfic concerning my random misadventures in various manga, anime, books, and video games, during which I lampoon everything under the sun.. I put the prelude up on DA right before writing this journal. Happy Reading!

Happy Independence Day, Guys! Hope your holidays are filled with fireworks! Fireworks and CAKE!

No offense, but ... People are getting too fake on me. They only want posts, comments, or to see how many friends they can get. So let's see who will actually repost this. This is a test to see who's paying attention. This is a test to see how many people in my friends list actually pay attention to me. Copy and repost in your own bulletin. Lets see who the true friends are and I think I know who you are... Repost this if you are a friend...Don't reply... just copy and paste this in a new bulletin as "Fake Friends".

True friends will read and repost this. Fake friends will just ignore it. If you are a real friend, one who cares for their friends, copy and paste this.

For those wishing to apply as ninjas, please fill out the following form.

SECTION A: General Information

Name: Joseph Santee
Age: 17

1. Are you an orphan?
_Yes
X No
_No, but my father is dead.
_No, but my mother is dead.
_No, but my family hates me.

2. Check one:
X Male
_Female
_Hard to tell

(If you selected female, skip the following question.)

3. Do you have amazing latent ninja powers?
X Yes
_No
_I’m not sure.

(If you are unsure, we will be willing to provide a free examination.)

4. Would you like to have a mentor/father figure?
X Yes
_No, I’m too aloof, cynical and/or untrusting.
_No thanks, I don’t really need one.
_I’ll take several, please!

5. Are you possessed?
_Yes (select one)
_fox demon
_sand demon
_Orochimaru tattoo on shoulder
_temporarily possession by Ino
_unidentified
X No
_No, but my friends think I am.
_No, my eyes are like this naturally.
_I possess others!

6. Do you have spiky hair?
_Yes
X No
_I don’t have hair.

SECTION B: Specific Information
This section is designed to see if your personality is compatible with the Way of the Ninja. Your answers may also affect your village placement.

1. What is your reason for existence? (Select all that apply.)
_Revenge.
_Ramen.
_Killing everyone.
_Being creepy.
_Being a love interest.
_I live for ______(name)!
_HOKAGE!!! (Becoming one, that is…not the actual Hokage.)
_I live purely to annoy everyone.
_Taking over ______(place).
_I’m not telling.
_I have great hair.
_The team needed a third person.
_The team needed a token girl member.
_Training orphaned ninjas.
_Swathing myself in bandages.
_To defeat ______(name)!
_Angst.
X To become strong.
_For people to make fun of my eyebrows/lack of eyebrows.
_They needed a replacement referee.
_Attracting more female/male viewers.
_How should I know!?
X Someone needed a rival.
X Wielding large weaponry.
_Recreational puppetry.
_Wearing fishnet.
_Wait, I need a reason?
_Saying “chou” a lot.
_The main characters needed someone to defeat.
_SASUKE-KUUUUUN!!!
X Food.
_Porn.
_Sasuke porn.
_Reasons are too much trouble.
_Getting killed, apparently.
_Wearing ungodly amounts of mascara.
X To explain, during pauses in battle, what a more important character has just done.
_They needed a 20th person for the reaction shot.
X Yelling others’ names.
_If I were to die, who would take care of my pet(s)?
_Cough syrup tastes good.
_I can’t die until I find my eyebrows!
_To have a manga named after me.
_There is no reason.

2. What are your hobbies? (Select all that apply.)
X Training.
X Training others.
X Fighting.
_Killing.
X Spying.
X Eating.
X Eating ramen.
_Arranging flowers.
X Reading porn.
_Writing porn.
X Researching porn.
_Being perpetually ill.
_Plotting revenge.
_Frolicking with animals/bugs.
_Doing my hair.
_Stalking Sasuke.
_Strapping strange objects to my back.
_Recreational puppetry.
_Acupuncture.
_Frowning.
_Glaring.
X Playing board games.
_Collecting cow-themed ninja wear.
_Transforming into a naked chick.
_Invading other villages.
X Giant swords.
X Giant fans.
_Medicine.
X Having flashbacks.
_Crashing through windows.
_Chewing on a stick.
X Psychology.
_Makeup.
_nail polish
_face paint
_mascara
_lipstick
_Pessimism.
X Pissing others off.
_Swallowing inanimate objects that should not be swallowed.
_Sleeping.
_Losing.

3. Which of the following weapons would you include in your ninja arsenal? (Select all that apply. Abilities with * are heavily restricted, and you may not qualify.)
_Kunai. (Duh.)
X Sword, curved.
X Sword, giant.
_Scythe, small.
_Shuriken, small.
X Shuriken, frickin’ huge.
X Senbon (needles), plain.
_Senbon (needles), with bells.
X Sharingan.*
X Byakugan.*
_My teeth.
X A big stick.
_Leprosy.
X Animate sands of death!*
X Icy mirrors of death!*
_Giant fan of death!
_Bugs of death!*
_A life-size puppet. Of death!
_Entering the opponent’s brain.* Of…wait.
_My pet(s).
_Sound itself!! (Note: Those assigned to Sound only.)
_My shadow.*
X Hand gestures, seals.
X Hand gestures, impolite.
X Lots of copies of me.
_Hallucinations.
_Infectious cough.
_Stretchy appendages.
X My crafty brain. (Note: Best effect when used by smart people.)
_ I don’t need weapons, I’ll just crush them with my body!*
_My fists are weapon enough!
_Arm implants.
_I’ll poke their eye out with my hair!
_Sheer sexiness.
X Cool scrolls.
_This rock I just found.
X Sheer effort.
X Everything I can get my hands on.
X Running away.
_I am a pacifist, and don’t believe in weapons.
X Other people.
X Lots and lots of chakra.
X Glowy things.
X Other (be creative!): Possesses the ability to use other people's abilities against them; can cause people to go temporarily insane with a glance, during which time I can control them

4. Which of the following would be part of your ninja wardrobe? (Select all that apply. Note that a headband is mandatory, and will be provided upon qualification.)
_X A casual jacket.
_A olive-green ninja vest with lots of pockets.
_Bandages.
_Mouth covering.
X Pants.
_Giant shorts.
_Anything bright orange.
_Fishnet.
_Cow-themed ninja wear.
X Leg kunai holster.
_An extra head.
_Geta.
_Flat wooden sandals.
X Modern blue sandals.
_Earrings.
_Makeup.
_nail polish
_face paint
_mascara
_lipstick
_Clown pants.
_Big striped hat.
_Overalls.
_A sash.
X A scarf.
_Conical straw hat.
_Helmet.
X Glasses.
_Chinese shirt.
_Hair bun(s).
X Giant cloak.
_Hokage-wear, complete with giant hat.
_Enormous purple bow.
_Anything with the Kanji for “death” on it.
X Mask, cool-looking.
_Mask, dumb-looking.
_Mask, kitty.
_Pink kimono.
_A haystack.
_Other (Please draw):

5. People describe me as:
X Energetic.
X Annoying.
X Ambitious.
_Hard-working.
_A jerk.
_Evil.
X Nice.
_Shy.
X Weird.
_Scary.
_Vaguely creepy.
_Quiet.
X Loud.
_Violent.
_Funny-looking.
X A pervert.
_Short.
_Large.
X Cool.
X Knowledgable.
X Lazy.
_Stupid.
_Androgynous.
_Motivational.
_Pessimistic.
_Strict.
_Sexy.
_Ill.
_Dead.

6. Write an essay of exactly 500 words explaining your motivation for becoming a ninja. Include a paragraph about the person who most inspires you to be a ninja. The phrase “Sasuke-kun” may not be used.

I can not state my reasons, because they are classified. If you really want to know, shove a stick of dynamite up a donkey's arse. Then, we'll talk about it.

7. Write an essay, of any length, describing every bad thing that has ever happened to you. Include flashbacks. Bonus points will be given for symbolism.

See 6.

Thank you for completing your application for ninjahood. Please drop it of with the nearest Chuunin, and we will get back to you in 2-3 weeks. If you are pursuing the Homeless Orphan option, drop your application on the cold, unforgiving ground and we will send your mentor out to meet you.

I'mma DONE! WOOOOOOOOO I R SO HYPER!!!!!!!!!!!

This'll be Fun!

British
[x] You drink a lot of tea.
[ ] You know what a brolly is.
[ ] Deal or No Deal has taken over your life.
[ ] You wanted Ben to win X Factor.
[x] You use the word "bugger" or the phrase "bloody hell."
[x] Fish and Chips are yummy.
[x] You can eat a Full English Breakfast.
[ ] you have been called emo
[ ] You wear flip flops all year.
[ ] Its football...not soccer.
Total:4

Australian
[ ] You call flipflops thongs not flip flops.
[x] You love a backyard barbie.
[x] You know a barbie is not a doll.
[ ] You love the beach.
[x] Sometimes you swear without realizing.
[ ] You're a sports fanatic.
[ ] You are tanned.
[ ] You're a bit of a bogan.
[ ] You have an australian something
Total:3

Italian
[x] The Sopranos is a great show.
[ ] Your last name ends in a vowel.
[ ] Your grandmother makes her own sauces.
[x] You know how a real meatball tastes.
[x] You know Italian songs.
[ ] You have dark hair and dark eye color.
[ ] You speak some Italian.
[x] You are under 5'10''
[ ] You know what a Italian horn is
[x] Pizza/spaghetti is the best food in the world!!!
[ ] You talk with your hands.
Total: 5

Spanish
[ ] You say member instead of Remember.
[x] You speak some Spanish. (corrected a typo here ^_^)
[x] You like tacos.
[ ] YoU TyPe lIkE ThIs On Da CoMpUtEr.
[ ] You are dark skinned.
[x] You know what a Puta is.
[x] You talk fast occasionally.
[ ] You have had highlights or have dyed your hair.
[ ] You know what platanos are.
Total:4

Russian
[ ] You say villian as: Vee-lon.
[x] You get short tempered.
[ ] You know of somebody named Natasha.
[x] You get cold easily.
[ ] Rain is fun for you.
[ ] You get into contests all the time.
[x] You can easily make do with the cold weather.
Total:3

Irish
[ ] You think beer is the best.
[ ] You have a bad temper.
[ ] Your last name starts with a Mc, Murph, O', Fitz or ends with a ley, on, un, an, in, ry, ly, y.
[x] You have blue or green eyes.
[ ] You like the color green.
[ ] You have been to a st. patty's day party.
[ ] You have a family member from Ireland.
[ ] You have blonde hair.
[ ] You have/had freckles.
[ ] Your family get togethers always include drinking and singing.
Total:1 (Not Irish...)

African American
[ ] You say nigga/nukka casually
[ ] You have nappy hair.
[ ] You like rap.
[ ] You know how to shoot a gun
[x] You think President George Walker Bush is racist.
[x] You like chicken.
[x] You like watermelon.
[x] You can dance.
[ ] You can 'sing' gospel.
Total:4

Asian
[ ] You have slanty/small eyes.
[x] You like rice a lot.
[ ] You are good at math.
[ ] You have played the piano.
[ ] You have family from Asia.
[x] You laugh sometimes covering your mouth.
[ ] Most people think you're chinese.
[ ] You call hurricanes typhoons.
[ ] You go to Baulko.
Total:2

German
[x] You like bread.
[x] You think German Chocolate is good.
[ ] You Speak some German.
[x] You know what Schnitzel is.
[ ] You hate it when stupid people call you a Nazi.
[x] You went to Pre-school.
[x] You're over 5'2
Total:5

Canadian
[ ] You like/play/played hockey.
[ ] You love beer.
[ ] You say eh.
[x] You know what poutine is.
[x] You speak some french.
[x] You love Tim Horton's.
[ ] At one point you lived in a farm house.
[ ] You watch/watched degrassi
Total:3

American
[ ] You hate foreigners.
[ ] You hate non - Christians.
[ ] You're lazy.
[ ] You are not cultured.
[ ] You hate abortion.
[ ] But love the death penalty.
[ ] You don't read.
[ ] You shop at walmart.
[ ] You think this survey is rather biased.
Total:0 (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(hack sputter cough)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! XD)

Polish
[ ] You know what Wawel is
[ ] You like jokes about other countries and about your authorities
[ ] You are stubborn like mule
[ ] You claim that vodka is Polish not Russian
[ ] You KNOW that Polish girls are the most beautiful.
[ ] For you Chicago is the biggest Polish city
[x] You swear too often
Total:1

...Well, this was fun! I'm honestly surprised at the results, since I live in the U.S., but don't fit the criteria on the Quiz. I got a ZERO on the American portion, for crying out loud!!!!!!!
A FUCKING ZERO!

...all the other sections were predictable, though.

Anyone else wanna do this?